How to Deal with Negative People

Thee best way to deal with negative people is to choose not to be around them. Unfortunately most of us don’t have that option. We all have co-workers, acquaintances, old friends, and/or immediate or extended family members whom we must interact with from time to time, if not daily. 

Approaching this problem from an energy perspective can offer some help. Here are four things to remember when confronted with negative people.

1. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into the game.

Negative energy will automatically create more negative energy. Remember, like energy attracts like energy. When encountering a negative person, your first response will automatically also be negative. This is normal and exactly what a negative person wants. Misery loves company, and complaining together is twice the fun. However, you CAN choose to disrupt this pattern.  Observe your response, then let it go, allowing the more objective side of yourself to emerge.

Negative people are very good at ferreting out your emotional buttons and knowing how to push them. The more negative your reaction, the more buttons are being pushed. Learn to recognize your buttons and explore where they might have come from in your past. Once you gain this awareness it will be easier to break the cycle.  You will still feel your buttons being pushed, but there will be much less emotional reaction.

2. Stay focused on the positive.

Problems are presented to us so that we are challenged to find solutions, thus expanding our creativity and wisdom. Keep bringing the conversation back to solutions, but do not let others get away with making you responsible for fixing their problems.

Negative people are good at seducing or coercing you into accepting blame or responsibility for something that is not yours. This intention may be explicitly stated in words, but most often is just hovering around sucking you in without any words being spoken. It is especially prevalent in people who are unhappy with themselves and the world around them. These people find it easier to blame others rather than do the personal work necessary to make their lives better.

If people do not want to focus on finding solutions for their problems, change the subject to a more positive or neutral topic.

3. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Most of our emotional entanglements happen because we rely on the opinion of others, and/or compare ourselves to others in order to measure our own value. If someone criticizes us, compares us unfavorably or implies blame, we quickly allow this assessment to deflate our sense of self-worth.

Beware, beware, beware! This is a trap. Do not fall into it.

Criticism and comparison are the two most effective ways others steal our energy and power. When another person makes you feel bad about yourself they are stealing your self-esteem in order to add it to their own. If you allow them to make you feel bad, you are handing over your energy on a silver platter. This brand of energy stealing is addictive. It’s what makes bullies so vicious and relentless. The more they steal the better they feel, but they also know it’s ephemeral power that can be stolen away again at any time, which is why they must steal more and more.

When you truly love and respect yourself, no one can steal your value or power because you know how to provide it for yourself. You don’t need to rely on anyone else to supply it for you.

4. Cultivate a sense of humor.

Humor is one of the most beautiful gifts we humans have given ourselves. Psychologically, humor acts as a bridge between opposing ideas or situations. We often make jokes about things we are uncomfortable with because humor eases conflict.

Negative energy is a personal vibration that is chaotic, conflicted, incoherent, out-of-harmony and/or full of friction. Humor reduces the friction and adds positive energy to smooth things out.  Laughter creates new energy when we are depleted, and reduces tension and stress. The ability to laugh at ourselves, and the situations in which we find ourselves, is especially healing.

These four tips are also invaluable in dealing with one’s own negative cycles. All of us have our ups and downs. But when you get tired of pulling yourself under, treat yourself with loving kindness, and remember, it’s just a game you can choose not to play.

You can learn more about the energy realm in my book, “It’s All About Energy:  Adventures in Expanded Reality”, found on Amazon, and on my website, www.transformationalexpansion.com.