Loving yourself means making sure that all your relationships are balanced and healthy, even those with authority figures. 
Healthy human relationships depend on mutual energy sharing – where energy exchange is balanced out (if not in every interaction, in the sum total). But what about relating to an authority, where one entity or person (maybe you) is acknowledged as having something the other wants or needs?
Relationships with authority figures are particularly tricky because we tend to automatically give these people extra energy, even to the point of slavish obedience or the discounting our own personal needs in favor of the others’ wants or desires. We also tend to bypass reliance on our own inner wisdom in favor of advice or admonitions from the person in authority.
Whenever someone has something the other wants, whether it is knowledge, money, prestige, wisdom, health, power, or just plain acceptance, there is an automatic energy unbalance, with the person possessing what is desired (the authority) having the upper hand. Therefore it is common for people to disregard the energy boundaries that they exercise with other people because they feel that whatever they want from the authority figure demands extra loyalty, allegiance, obedience, and most of all, attention, which is ,of course, just another name for energy.
We willingly give up our energy to authority in many venues, to our bosses, the companies we work for, the medical establishment, our spiritual mentors as well as teachers and advisers of all kinds (accountants, lawyers, financial advisers, coaches, doctors, therapists, etc.), because we feel that since we need whatever they have, we are somehow lesser. We behave as a supplicant.
This energy unbalance may be quite obvious, as in a company demanding that a salaried employee work many hours overtime without extra compensation, or a guru demanding sexual favors of an initiate. It may take the form of expecting slavish obedience or excessive compensation.
But the unbalanced nature of energy exchange with authority can happen in less obvious ways, for example, feeling we must allow disrespectful treatment such as arrogance, harsh criticism, missed, short, or late meetings, and inattention to our real needs. The medical establishment is a prime example of this kind of treatment, which can come from every level from the doctors and administrators to receptionists. But this kind of energy imbalance is also found in many other relationships with those we see as having authority.
Disrespect is common in authority relationships because the person wanting the service or knowledge automatically signals respect by asking for what the authority figure has to offer. The problem comes when the authority figure does not return that respect. The biggest problem is that we, as supplicants, willingly acquiesce to this unbalance, automatically accepting it as the price we must pay to get what we need. However, disrespect is a sure sign of energy unbalance and should be an immediate wake-up call that the situation needs attention.
When we encounter a situation like this, it is up to us to reestablish the needed balance. Self respect and self love are not exactly the same, but they go hand in hand. We can rebalance these lopsided energy relationships only by recognizing our own authority.
Every one of us deserves respect for the fact that we are even here on this planet. It took great courage to choose to come here because we knew it would be difficult, but chose to come anyway. In addition, every one of us deserves respect for our experiences here, no matter what they are or whether we can articulate or explain their value to others, or even to ourselves. We are all authorities on life, and possess much greater wisdom than we give ourselves credit for. In order to gain the respect of others, even authority figures, we must first respect ourselves.
When two authorities come together there is mutual respect, even if only one of them desires the expertise of the other. This mutual respect makes it much easier to agree on some kind of mutual and equal energy exchange, whether it is a monetary transaction (payment for the expertise) or a trade of expertise or labor at a later date. If there is a monetary exchange, then that is all that is needed, and there are no strings attached. You pay the authority for his or her services or advice, but it is up to you to discern the value of the expertise and to use it or not use it as you see fit. If you render a fair payment (equal exchange), you should expect the full attention of the authority figure, the best service or advice possible, respectful answers to questions with no missed meetings or waiting for appointments. You should not be subject to dismissive or arrogant behavior or demands for extra attention or complete obedience.
If it is a trade, things are much trickier, and care should be taken that boundaries are clearly stated and adhered to. Unspoken expectations can often be a problem in this case, but a written contract can help. Demands outside the contract should not be tolerated.
Balanced energy exchange means treating each other with mutual respect, no matter who needs what from whom. For those seeking something from an authority figure, remember you are an authority too, and should be respected as one. For those who are in authority, remember that when you treat those who come to you as lesser, you are stealing their energy for your own gain. And the fact that you need to steal energy in the first place means you are not quite the authority you think you are.
The bottom line is that we usually get what we expect. If we see ourselves as authorities worthy of respect, it is much easier to command respect from others. If we acknowledge all life experiences as worthy of respect, it is also much easier for us to treat others with the respect they deserve when find ourselves in a role of authority.
Balanced energy means health and well-being. It serves everyone. When you insist on a balanced energy exchange with an authority figure, it’s win-win for all.
You can learn more about the energy realm in my book, “It’s All About Energy: Adventures in Expanded Reality”, found on Amazon, and on my website, www.transformationalexpansion.com.