Energy Stealing

When someone steals our physical possessions or attacks or injures our physical body, we have recourse to the legal system. As a society we believe it is wrong to steal money or possessions from a person or injure another physically. But energy is invisible and intangible, so we have not yet even recognized that it is possible for people to take this vital, invaluable ingredient from us. Yet all of us steal energy, some to a greater extent than others.

Just like food, humans need energy to survive. We’ve all heard about the babies in orphanages who were given good food and physical care, but died anyway because no one gave them the love and attention they needed.

Attention is energy, and love is an even more potent form of energy. Food feeds our physical bodies, but our energy bodies need to be fed also, and we will languish and fade without this important nourishment.

Babies learn early how to get energy from their parents. They smile, laugh, act really cute, cry or have tantrums. For some, good grades are a sure attention-getter, while for others athletic prowess wins the day. Whatever works. If positive energy, (unconditional love and caring), is not available, children will act out, for even negative attention is better than nothing.

Adults need energy too.  As adults, when feeling depleted, we seek energy (attention) from those around us, just as we did as children. Since energy is not visible and most people don’t even recognize it as a need, we have no cultural rules governing how we acquire energy when we do need it. But just like physical resources, there are unhealthy and illegitimate ways to acquire energy, as well as healthy and appropriate ways. When faced with someone using illegitimate means, we may not know exactly what’s happening to us, but we definitely feel that something is very wrong.

People steal energy when they attempt to take your energy without permission and without equal exchange, but it is a doubly pernicious form of theft because it usually goes on outside of the consciousness of both parties involved. In other words, people who steal energy usually are not aware that they are doing it, and people from whom they steal are usually not aware of what is going on consciously either. Only afterward will they feel completely exhausted, coerced or manipulated, or that something very unsavory has happened, even when they don’t know exactly what.

There are many different levels of energy stealing, from the most subtle to the most obvious. Any attention seeking behavior is an attempt to acquire energy, whether its dominating a business meeting, stonewalling on a vote or a project, intimidating a co-worker, or being the class clown or drama queen.

One example of a very obvious form of energy stealing is the person with the vacuum eyes, that is, a person who drains energy from others just by being in the same room. This person doesn’t even have to say anything to do the job. The sucking happens unconsciously and without any overt physical manifestation. But it leaves its victim drained and confused, not understanding what happened.

Others suck energy verbally, by monopolizing the conversation, not pausing to let the other person talk, or always turning the conversation back to themselves. When this kind of person talks constantly about their own problems (the victim), the energy sucking is even worse because of the implication that the energy sucker not only needs energy, but physical help a well.

Often people will try to manipulate you into giving your permission for them to steal energy. They try to convince you that they have something you want in exchange for what they want, even though you are not particularly interested. But you somehow know that if you refuse, they will steal your energy anyway, and/or wreck havoc on you in other ways. Yet at first their offer may seem quite reasonable. They will often offer their services for free, (and they may be very good at what they do) and it is only later that you realize the price you are paying.

Coercion is energy stealing with no pretense. The person threatens you with some form of unwanted consequence if you fail to do what they want. One of the most pernicious examples of this form of energy stealing is conditional love. I will love you but only if you do/are what I want you to do/be. This kind of person often feeds off of what you are or have, that is, they live vicariously through you. If you change or refuse to do or be what they need, it is very threatening to them because you are removing an important source of nourishment.

Power seeking behavior is one of the worst forms of energy stealing. The more power a person has over you, the more energy they can steal, and the less you can do about it. And power seeking behavior comes in all forms, from cruel despotic kings and dictators to spiritual gurus.  In this most severe form of energy stealing, the thief can take not just your subtle energy, but your physical resources as well, that is, your money, your job or even your life. Whenever someone makes you an offer you can’t refuse, they are stealing your energy. This is why power is so addictive.

The power seeker will usually offer you something is return, protection, votes, favorable treatment, or even the promise of their attention. The more energy a person needs, the more vulnerable they are to the power seeker.

The reason most of us steal energy in some form or another is because we believe energy to be finite, like all physical resources. After all, there is only so much water, so much oil, so much land, so much money, and if you have more of those resources, that means I have less. We seek energy from each other because we don’t know where else to get it.

But the good news is that energy is not finite and there are healthy ways to exchange energy with other people, as well as ways to create energy for ourselves without having to get it from others.

Healthy social energy exchange is when both people freely give of their energy to each other, not because they have to, but because they want to. For example, two friends go to lunch and each has time to talk about themselves and their concerns while the other listens. Then they might talk about something of mutual interest. They laugh a lot and enjoy each others’ company, and each comes away feeling refreshed and renewed. Each person knows they can count on the other to be there when perhaps they are going through hard times and need extra energy. But both know they will reciprocate and it will all come out even in the end.

Unlike physical resources, energy is not finite. There is an infinite Source of energy available to us all the time, free for the taking.

One of the best ways to access this Source is through meditation. After going into meditation you can breath you energy back to you, and then breath it down into the ground (grounding) where it is purified and harmonized.  Then on the in-breath, you draw that revitalized energy back to you.  You can also draw more than you put down.  Energy from the Earth is strengthening and stabilizing and always available to you.

You can also draw energy in from the universe.  This energy from Source is always available and inexhaustible, It can replenish depleted energy,  banish burnout, and help restore a passion for life.

In addition, we can always generate energy many ways without taking it from anywhere or anyone. Laughter, play and artistic creation are three excellent ways to generate energy. Laughter is healing and energizing. We need much more of it in our lives. Play is lighthearted, healing and offers a chance to experiment with life without real life consequences.  And artistic creation is true expression of the Soul. Whether it’s singing, painting, gardening, making a rock wall, wood-working, writing in a journal or just doodling, any kind of creation can be energizing as long as we relax into it and don’t bash ourselves for not being “artistic”.

And finally, the very best way to generate energy is to learn to love ourselves unconditionally (a tall order but well worth the effort). Unconditional love for self also brings the ability to love others unconditionally. When we need nothing from others, we are free to give generously and choose consciously where and with whom we share.

For more on energy and the energy realm, see my book, “It’s All About Energy:  Adventures in Expanded Reality”, available on Amazon, in local bookstores and on my website: www.transformationalexpansion.com